my sweet Grandma Passed away i glad we know what we knew i know she is with my grandpa and many other people we know i know that my reedemeer leaves and loves me to i know i will feel both of them with me at all time Funeral services well be held Monday Nov. 22, 12:00 noon at the Magna Utah Stake Center 2875 South 8000 West . A viewing will be held Sunday 6-8:oo pm at McDougal Funeral Home 4330 South Redwood Road and again at the church Monday 11-11:45 am prior to services Interment , Valley View Memorial park 4335 West 4100 South.

BACK FLIP

12 PENCILS NEED
1 PENCILS ARE PLACE ON PLAY SURFACE IN INCREMENTS OF 2, WITH ALL ERASERS FACING THE SAME DIRECTION
2 WHEN THE CLOCK STARTS, PLAYER PICKS UP THE FIRST SET OF 2 PENCILS AND PLACES THEM ON THE BACK OF HIS/HER HAND

3 PLAYER MUST FLIP PENCILS IN THE AIR THEN CATCH THEM TOGETHER PLAYER ADDS TWO MORE PENCILS WITH EACH TURN BUILDING TO A FINAL SET OF 12

4 PLAYER CANNOT ADD THE NEXT 2 PENCILS UNTIL THE PREVIOUS SET HAS BEEN CAUGHT
4
5 TO COMPLETE THE GAME PLAYER MUST CATCH SETS SET OF 2 4 6 8 10 AND FINALLY TWELVE PENCILS IN SUCCESSION WITHIN THE 60 SECONDS TIME LIMIT

TESTIMONY

I LIKE TO BEAR MY TESTIMONY THAT THIS CHURCH IS TRUE AND I KNOW THAT GOD HAS ANSWERS PRAYERS BECAUSE HE HAS ANSWER MY PRAYERS AND ONE TIME WHEN I WAS AT PRIMARY CHILDRENS THEY HAD TO TAKE BLOOD FROM ME AND I AM HARD TO GET BLOOD OUT OF AND EVERYTHING IT ONLY TOOK TWO POKES TO GET BLOOD OUT AND IF YOU'RE FEELING LONELY AND FEEL LIKE YOU ARE ALONE BUT JUST REMEMBER THIS YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND REMEMBER GOD LOVES YOU BACK A COUPLE OF MONTHS BEFORE I KNEW MY COUSIN HAD DIED MY PARENTS WERE AT MY GRANDPARENTS AND THIS WAS AT 10 00 AT NIGHT SO I WAS WORRIED ABOUT MY PARENTS AND I FELT AT SOMEONE WAS COMFORTING ME THE NEXT DAY I KNEW IT WAS MY COUSIN STEPHANIE THEIR WITH ME AND IF ANYBODY IS HAVING QUESTIONS JUST PRAY FOR IT AND I HAVE BEEN READING MY SCRIPTURES AND IT HAS HELP ME SLEEP BETTER AND I KNOW I HAVE SOMEONE FROM THE OTHER SIDE HELPING EACH SUNDAY CAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I WOULD DO IT AND I AM A BELIEVER AND I SAY THIS IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST AMEN

GAMES TO PLAY WITH FAMILY

1 HAPPY FAMILIES
IF YOU HAVE A PACK OF FAMILY HAPPY FAMILIES CARDS SORT OUT ONE FAMILY FOR EVERY FOUR GUESTS EVERYONE DRAWS A CARD ON ARRIVAL AND HAS TO FIND THE OTHER THREE MEMBERS OF THEIR FAMILY AS SOON AS THEY AR EN FAMILLE THEY THEY SIT ON THE FLOOR WHILE THEY'RE WAITING FOR THE OTHERS TO GET TOGETHER IN THEIR FOURS KEEP THEM OCCUPIED WITH


2 A DINOSAUR DRIVE
EACH FAMILY IS GIVEN A DICE FOUR BITS OF PAPER AND FOUR PENCILS PLAYERS TAKE IT IN TURN TO THROW THE DICE THEY NEED A SIX TO START FOR THAT ALLOWS THEM TO DRAW THE DIANOSAUR'S BODY THE OTHER PARTS AS FOLLOWS
5 FOR THE HEAD ONE OF THESE
4 FOR THE LEGS FOUR OF THEM
3 FOR THE EYES TWO OF THEM
2 FOR THE HORNS TWO OF THEM
1 FOR THE TAIL ONLY ONE OF THEM
PLAYERS CAN FILL THE LEGS AND TAIL BEFORE THEY CAN THROW A FIIVE BUT THEY CAN'T FILL IN THE EYES OR HORN ON A HEADLESS DIANOSAUR

3 HUNT FOR THE BALLS
WRITE THE NAME PF EACH GUEST ON A PING PONG BALL AS SOON AS THE GUEST ARRIVE GIVE EACH OF THEM THE BALL WITH THEIR NAME ON IT AND SEND THEM OFF TO HIDE THEM ANYWHERE THEY LIKE WITHIN THE PARTY AREA WHEN THE LAST TO ARRIVE THE HIDDEN HAS HIDDEN HIS OR HER BALL IN SOME CLEVER PLACE IT'S FIND THE BALLS TIME THE GUEST WHOSE BALL IS LAST TO BE FOUND IS THE WINNER

4 A GOOD DOOK
DOOKING FOR APPLES IS IS A POPULAR HALLOWE'N GAME IN SCOTLAND WHEN THE WITCHES TAKE TO THEIR BROOMSTICKS AND FLY THROUGH THE AIR IT'S A GREAT ICE BREAKER AT ANY PARTY FLOAT APPLES IN A BUCKET OF WATER AND STAND IT JUST INSIDE THE PARTY ROOM ON TOP OF THE TOWEL OR SOME SHEETS OF NEWSPAPERS BEFORE A GUEST IS GIVEN A COKE OR AN ORANGE SQUASH HE HAS TO KNELL IN FRONT OF THE BUCKET HANDS BEHIND HIS BACK AND BITE AN APPLE OUT THOUGHTFUL HOSTS AND HOSTESSES DRAPE A TOWEL AROUND THE SHOULDERS OF THE DOOKERS BEFORE THE PLUNGE IN

5 FIND THE OTHER HALF
CUT UP OLD COLOUR SUPPLEMENT ADS IN TWO HORIZONTALLY VERTICALLY ZIG ZAG ANY WAY YOU WANT ON THE BACOF ONE HALF JOT DOWN A FORFEIT OR A SMALL PRIZE PACKET OF JELLY BABIES TUBE OF SMARTIES AND HIDE THEM AROUND THE HOUSE PUT THE OTHER HALFS IN A HAT ARRIVING GUESTS DRAW HALF AN AD AND ARE SENT OFF TO FIND THE OTHER BIT WHEN THEY FIND IT THEY MUST PERFORM THE FORFEIT OF THEY'RE THEY'RE UNLUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE DRAWN A FORFEIT CARD OR THEY CLAIM THEIR PRIZE WHICH IS LABELEDWITH A FORFEIT

FINAL DEPOSIT BY LISA HARRIS

BECOME AN INSTANT MILLIONAIRE IT'S JUST ANOTHER SCAM SENT VIA EMAIL TO THOUSANDS YET LINDSAY TAYLOR'S ELDERLY FATHER HAS FALLEN FOR IT AND LOST HIS LIFE SAVINGS HE'S EVEN GONE OFF TO CLAIM HIS PROMISED FORTUNED LINDSEY KNOWS HE'LL NEVER SEE A PENNY WORSE SHE'S WORRIED SHE'LL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN FRANTIC SHE TURNS TO FINACIAL SECURITY EXPERT KYLE WALKER KYLE HAS HIS OWN VENDETTA HE LOST HIS BROTHER TO AN INTERNET MAIL ORDER BRIDE SCHEME HE'S PROMISED TO HELP LINDSAY FIND HER FATHER BUT FIRST HE HAS TO GET THEM CLOSE TO THE SCAM ARTISTS AND THE CLOSER THEY GET THE MORE DANGER THEY FIND

HEART OF THE NIGHT BY LENORA WORTH

HIS CHILD IS ALIVE SECRET AGENT ELI TRUDEAU GRIEVED THE LOSS OF HIS WIFE AND BABY THEN HE DISCOVERS HIS SON IS ALIVE AND LIVNG WITH AN ADOPTIVE MOTHER GENA MALONE DESPITE THE SECRETS AND LIES ELI CAN'T DENIED THE TRUTH GENA LOVES THE BOYS YET ELI GREW UP WITHOUT A FATHER AND WON'T DO THAT TO HIS OWN CHILD WHEN SOMEONE DANGEROUS COMES AFTER THEM ELI TAKES GENA AND HIS SON DEEP INTO HIDING AS HE GROWS CLOSER TO THEM HE DISCOVERS THAT HE'S MORE THAN JUST A MAVERICK OPERATIVE AFTER HIS DARK TROUBLED PAST HE'S FINALLY FOUND FAITH AND FAMILY AND HE' LL DO ANYTHING TO PROTECT THEM

AT HOME IN DRY CREEK BY JANET TRONSTAD

A NEW HOME'S PROMISE
WITH TWO KIDS TO RAISE AND HER EX HUSBAND IN JAIL BARBARA STRONG MOVE TO DRY CREEK FOR A FRESH START SHE LOVED THE TOWN BUT APPARENTLY HER FEELINGS WEREN'T RECIPOCATED DIDN'T THE FOLKS IN DRY CREEK TRUST HER TRUTH WAS SHERIFF CARL WALL HAD ASKED EVERYONE IN TO LEAVE BARBARA ALONE SO SHE HEAL THE SHERIFF HAD VOWED TO PROTECT THE PRETTY VUNEARABLE NEWCOMER FROM SUITORS AND FROM ANY OF HER EX HUSBAND'S CRONIES WHO MIGHT TRY TO CONTACT HER BUT WOULD HE BE ABLE TO DO HIS JOB IF HE WAS IN DANGER OF LOSING HIS HEART

SHERRIF WALL WATCHED BARBARA WALK OUTSIDE LEAVING THE RECEPTION BEHIND ORDINARILY HE WOULDN'T HAVE FOLLOWED HER BUT IF ANYONE WAS GOING TO MAKE CONTACT WITH HER THEY WOULD DO IT AT SOME EVENT LIKE THIS A WEDDING WHERE THEY'D BLEND IN STRANGERS STOOD OUT IN DRY CREEK BUT TONIGHT ANY NUMBER COULD WALK AROUND AND NO ONE WOULD PAY ATTENTION AS LONG AS THEY HAD A CUP FILLED WITH PUNCH OF COURSE THE SHERIFF WASN'T WORRIED ABOUT BARBARA SEEKING HER EX HUSBAND'S CRIMNAL PARTENERS HE'D TALKED WITH HER ENOUGH TO KNOW SHE WASN'T LIKELY TO TURN TO CRIME BUT THAT DIDN'T MEAN HER EX HUSBAND'S PARTENERS WOULDNT TRY TO GET TO HIM THROUGH HER YEAH THE SHERIFF TOLD HIMSELF HE'D BETTER GO TALK TO HER JUST TO MAKE SURE EVERYHTING WAS OKAY

DEIADLY INTENT BY CAMY TANG

SCENE OF THE CRIME THE GRANT FAMILY'S EXCLUSIVE SONOMA SPA IS A PLACE FOR REST AND RELAZATION NOT MURDER WHEN NAOMI GRANT FINDS HER CLIENT JESSICA ORTIZ BLEEDING TO DEATH IN HER MASSAGE ROOM EVERYTHING FALLS APART THE SALON'S REPUTATION IS AT STAKE AND SO IS NAOMI'S FREEDOME WHEN SHE DISCOVERS THAT SHE IS ONICTIM'S OF THE MAIN SUSPECTS HER ONLY SOLACE FOUND WITH THE OTHER SUSPECT DR DEVON KNIGHTLEY THE VICTIM'S EX HUSBAND BUT DEVON IS HIDING SECRETS OF HIS OWN WHEN THEY COME TO LIGHT WHERE CAN NAOMI TURN AND WHOM CAN SHE TRUST

FLASHOVER BY DANA MENTTINK

DON'T PLAY WITH FIRE WHY IS A KIND HEARTED SAVANT SETTING FIRE TO AN ORDINARY BOOK RECUPERATING FIREFIGHTER ILVY BERIA IS DETERMINED TO FIND OUT BUT THEN THE YOUNG MAN MOE GOES MISSING AND HIS ONLY FRIEND TURNS UP DEAD IVY IS SURE THE DOUBLE MYSTERY IS LI8NKED TO THE STRING OF NUMBERS MOE CHANTED BEFORE HE VANISHED SHE ASKS HER BEST FRIEND COMPUTER EXPERT TIM CARNELLI TO UNCOVER A PATTERN THEY MADE TWO SHOCKING DISCOVERIES THEY HAVE UNEXPECTED ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR ONE ANOTHER AND MOE IS IN SERIOUS DANGER THEY'D BETTER FIND HIM FAST OR THE TRUTH AND THEIR DREAMS WILL GO UP IN SMOKE

RACE TO THE RESCUE BY DANA MENTINK

HELP MURDER THOSE WERE HER BROTHER'S LAST WORDS BEFORE THEIR PHONE CONNECTION WAS LOST SO ANITA TEEL RUSHES TO ARIZONA TO FIND HER ONLY RALATIVE RIGHT AWAY BUT NO ONE FROM HIS EMPLOYER TO THE POLICE WILL TAKE HER SERIOUSLY EXCEPT FOR BOOKER SCOTT THE HARDENED RANCHER WHOSE HEART SHE BROKE NOW ANITA HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO PUT HER FRAGILE TRUST IN BOOKER INCE AGAIN AS THEY RACE ACROSS THE DEADLY DESERT THE RESCUE MISSION BECOMES A TEST A CHALLENGE TO SEE IF THEY CAN OVERCOME THEIR PRIDE AND THEIR PAST IN TIME TI SAVE HER BROTHER'S LIFE

DOUBLE CROSS BY TERRI REED

BATTLE FOR HER BIRTH RIGHT THE STRUGGLING ORCHID FARM ON THE LUSH ISLAND OF MAUI IS KIKI BRILL'S PRIDE AND JOY AND SHE'S NOT ABOUT TO LOSE IT NO MATTER HOW MUCH MONEY RYAN MCCLAIN IS OFFERING FOR HER FAMILY'S LAND BUT IT'S BECOMING CLER THAT THE ACCIDENT THREATING HER PEACEFUL LIFE ARE REALLY ACTS OF SABOTAGE THE WEALTHY HANDSOME BUSINESSMAN ONCE THE PRIME SUSPECT IS BEGINNING TO SEEM LIKE HER LAST HOPE NOW IF ONLY SHE CAN BRING HERSELF TO TRUST HIM WITH ER HO,E HER HERITAGE AND HER HEART

MIA MISSING IN ALATANA BY DEBBI GIUSTI

HIS GIRLFRIEND HAD VANISHED GRANTED HE HADN'T KNOWN HER LONG BUT RETURNING WAR HERO JUDE WALKER EXPECTED TO EVENTUALLY MARRY THE WOMAN HE'D MET DURING HIS LAST LEAVE NOT FIND HER MISSING OR LEARN THAT HER LAST KNOWN ADDRESS WS A HOMELESS SHELTER IN A DANGEROUS PART OF THE CITY THE SHELTER'S TEMPOARY DIRECTOR SARAH MONTOGEMERY DIDN'T KNOW JUDE'S FRIEND BUT SHE KNEW THE STREETS KNEW THE DANGERS FROM DRUGS AND PROSTOTUTION TO THE MOST COLD BLOODED OF CRIMNALS RIGHT OUTSDIE HER DOOR KNEW TJAT THE HANDSOME BRAVE CAPTAIN WAS IN FOR HEARTACHE AND THAT FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM WAS HERRISKIEST MOVE YET

DOUBLE JEOPARDYBY TERRI REED

EYEWITNESS IN JEOPARDY WITNESS TO A BRUTAL MURDER ANNE JONES BRAVELY AGREES TO TESTIFY SHE IS GIVEN A NEW NAME A NEW HISTORY AND IS ADVISED NOT TO GET TOO CLOSE TO ANYONE BUT SHE DOES WITH GOOD REASON SOMEHOW HER IDENTY HAS BEEN COMPROMISED SOMEONE KNOWS WHO AND WHERE SHE IS ANNE'S HANDSOME BOSS PATRICK MCCLAIN IS HIMSELF A WITNES TO THE SCARE TACTIS BEING USED AGAINST HER AND VOWS TO KEEP HER SAFE YET SHE WILL HAVE TO DISSAPPEAR ALL OVER AGAIN LST SHE PUT THEIR LIVES IN JEOPARDY

DOUBLE THREAT AT CHRISTMAS BY TERRI REED

I DIDN'T KILL THOSE MEN ACCORDING TO POLICE MEGAN MCCLAIN HAD THE MOTIVE MEANS AND OPPORTUNITY TO COMMIT A DOUBLE MURDER UNLESS SHE CAN PROVE HER INNOCENCE SHE'LL SPEND CHRISTMAS IN JAIL IS SOMEONE TRYING TO FRAME HER WHO SHE STARTS NOSING AROUND AND UNCOVER NOT ONE BUT TWO UNLIKELY SUSPECTS THE DETECTIVE WORKING THE CASE DOESN'T APPRECIATED MEGAN DOING HIS JOB FOR HIM AND THE MORE PAL WALLACE INVESTIGATES THE GUILTIER MEGAN LOOKS THAT'S BECAUSE SHE IS HIDING SOMETHING SOMETHING THAT SCARES HER MORE THAN HER FEELINGS FOR THE HANDSOME COP

COUNTDOWN TO DEATH BY DEBBY GIUSTI

MEDICAL MYSTERY OR MURDER HOW DID FIVE PEOPLE FORM SMALL GEROGIA TOWN CONTACAT A RARE DEDLY DISEASE MEDICAL RESEARCHER ALLISON STEWART HAS TO WORK AGAINST THE CLOCK TO FIND OUT YET BEFORE SHE CAN ASK ONE QUESTION SOMEONE TRIES TO KILL HER A HANDSOME RECLUSE WHO IS SHROUDED IN SUSPICION SAVES HER MANY BELEVE LUKE GARISON IS GUILTY IF A DECADE ILD MURDER WITH TIES TO ALLISON'S CSE ALLISON DARES TO WORK CLOSELY WITH LUKE BE IS SHE SETTING HERSELF UP TO BECOME VICTIM NUMBER SIX

CHASING SHADOW BY TERRI REED

NOW YOU SEE THEM NOW YOU DON'T WHEN SENIOR CITENS START MYSTERIOUSLY DISSAPPERING FROM A BOSTON RETIREMENT OME HEIRESS KRISTINA WORTHINGTON IS SUSPICIOUS ESPECIALLY SINCE SHE FEARS HER BELOVED GRANDMOTHER IS NEXT WITHOUT SOLID EVIDENCE SHE'S FORCED TO TURN TO THE ONE POLICE OFFICER WHO MIGHT LISTEN HER FORMER LOVE GABE BURKE NOW A SEASONED COP GBE STILL SEES HER AS THE RICH GIRL WHOSE FAMILY THOUGHT HE WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH AND THOUGH HE TAKES ON THE CASE GABE SEEMS SEEMS CONVINCE HE'S CHASING SHADOWS UNTILL THEY UNTIL TEHY START DODGING THREATS BULLETS AND THEIR OWN REKINDLED FEELINGS

FINAL WARNING BY SANDRA ROBBINS

LET'S PLAY A GAME ONE EMAIL AND RADIO SHOW HOST CJ TANNER BECOMES A PAWN IN A MADMAN'S GAME ONLY BY SOLVING HIS RIDDLES CAN SHE STOPPED THE MURDERS AND ONLY MITCH HARMON HER EX FIANCE CAN HELP HER PUT AN END TO THE KILLER'S PLAN MITCH KNOWS HE HAS TO DISCOVERED THE KILLER'S TRUE IDENTITY OTHERWISE HE MAN'S OBSESSION WITH CJ WILL HAVING HER FOLLOWING STEPS TO BECOME HIS FINAL VICTIM MITCH WON'T ALLOW ANYONE TO HARM THE WOMAN HE LET SLIP AWAY HE'LL KEEP HER SFE EVEN IF HE HAS TO PUT HIS OWN LIFE ON THE LINE

TAKING CARLY BRADFORD BY RAMONA RICHARDS

A CLUE IN THE WOODS A BLUE SUNDRESS AND WHITE SANDALS THAT' WHAT SEVEN YEAR OLD CARLY BRADFOD WAS WEARING RIGHT BEFORE SHE DISSAPEAR THREE MONTHS LATER DEE KELLY SPOTS THE SANDALS IN THE WOODS AND KNOWS SHE'S UNCOVERED EVIDENCE DEE LOST HER HUSBAND AND CHILD SHE WON'T LET A MOTHER SUFFER AS SHE DID SHE WILL HELP POLICE CHIEF TYLER MADISON FIND CARLY WHETHER HE WANTS HER ASSITANCE OR NOT BT TYLER ISN'T THE ONL ONDETERMINED TI KEEP DEE OFF THE CASE AND EVIDENCE ISN'T ALL SHE'LL FIND IN THE WOODS
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THANKYOU MOM AND DAD AND SISTERS AND FRIENDS AND FAMILY

I JUST WANT TO THANKS MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS THAT HELP ME THROUGH THIS IC IT IS PAIINFUL AND STRESS FULL THIS DISEASE DOES NOT HAVE A CURE IMAGINE YOU AHVE TO GO TO A DOCTOR AND HAVE TO HAVE A FULL BLADDER AND IMAGINE NOT BEING ABLE TO EMPTY IT JUST A LITTLE AND YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM ABOUT 50 80 TIMES A DAY AND SOMETIME IT KEEPS YOU AWAKE AT NIGHT SO I AM ASKING PEOPLE TO PRAY THAT IC WILL BE ABLE TO GET A CURE CAUSE IT DOES NOT HAVE ONE YET AND I AM SO LUCKY AND I THANK GOD FOR HELPING ME GET A DIAGNOS AND A GOOD DOCTORS AND NURSES THAT HAVE HELP ME ON THE WAY PEOPLE WHO HAVE THIS DISEASE CAN't EAT MUCH OF ANYTHIN THAT HAS CITRIUS ACID AND TOMOTOES AND CHOCOLATE AND AND EGGS AND ONIONS THIS IS A HORRIBLE DISEASE FOR ANYBODY TO HAVE AND I ALSO A CARDIVASCOULOR OF THE AUROTA AND ASPERERGER'S SYNDROME AND 18 P- AND SOME TIMES THE DOCTOR DON'T BELIEVE THEIR PATIENTS

CHILD OF MINE BONNIE K WINN

IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT WHEN MATT WHITAKER OPENED HIS DOOR TO SEE A BABY IN HIS BROTHER'S ARM MATT'S NEPHEW DANNY ABANDONED BY HIS HEARTLESS HIGH SOCIETY MOTHER AND THEN DANNY'S FATHER WAS KILLED IN AN ACCIDENT AND MATT AND ILL PREPARED BACHELOR VOWED BEFORE GOD TO LOVE AND PROTECT THIS CHILD AS HIS OWN DANNY'S MOTHER LEAH HUNTER HAD BEEN DESPERATELY SEARCHING FOR HER BABY FOR EIGHT YEARS EVER SINCE HIS FATHER SNATCHED HIM AT LAST A CLUE LEADS HER TO THE SMALL TOWN OF ROSEWOOD TEXAS AND HER SON'S GUARDIAN

ONCE UPON A FAMILY BY MARGARET DALEY

AS THE LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL PRINCIPAL PETER STONE KNEW TROUBLE STUDENT SEAN WILLIAMS NEEDED HIS EXPERT ASSISTANCE AND AS A CHRISTIAN PETER KNEW GOD WAS LEADING HIM TO HELP YET IT WAS THE BOY'S MOTHER WHO CAPTURED PETER'S NOTICE LAURA WIDOW CARING FOR HER FOUR CHILDREN AND AILING AUNT HAD NO TIME FOR ROMANCE OR RELIGION SOMEHOW DESPITE HER PROTESTS LAURA FOUND HERSELF AND HER BROOD FREQUENT VISITOR O TO PETER'S RANCH AND THE CHURCH HE ATTENDED SOON IT SEEMED HER FAMILY WAS MEANT TO COMPLETE PETER'S LIFE

SNOWBOUND IN DRY CRY CREEK BY JANET TRONSTAD

RODEO CHAMPION ZACH LIGHTING LUCAS GRUMPILY AGREES TO A CHRISTMAS EVE DEAL PUT ON A SANTA SUIT AND DELIEVER GIFTS TO A WIDOWED MOTHER THAT DONE HE CAN FINALLY LEAVE DRY CREEK MONTANA IN HIS DUST WELL EXCEPT FOR THE SMALL STOWAWAY IN HIS TRUCK JENNY'S COLLINS GRIEF STRICKEN LITTLE DAUGHTER LIKE ZACH THE GIRL DOESN'T BELIEVE IN MUCH OF ANYTHING ANY MORE HE BRINGS HER HOME JUST IN TIME FOR A BLIZZARD TO STRAND HIM IN LOVELY JENNY'S BARN WHERE HE UNEXPECTEDLY HELPS A FAMILY ABD HIMSELF FIND THE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS

TEXAS RANGER DAD BY DEBRA CLOPTON

EVERYONE IN MULL HOLLOW CAN SEE THE RESEMBLANCE BETWEEN FORMER TEXAS RANGER ZANE CANTRELL AND ROSE VINCENT SON THE SAME GOLD FLECKED AMBER EYES THE SAME SMILE NOT THAT ZANE IS SMILING HE'S IN SHOCK HOW COULD ROSE HAVE KEPT HAVE KEPT THEIR CHILD A SECRET FROM HIM ROSE REMINDS ZANE THAT HE'S THE ONE THAT WALKED AWAY HE HAS TO MAKE HER TO SEE HE HAD NO CHOICE BUT ROSE IS AS PRICKLY AS THE CATCUS JELLY SHE MAKES AND THAT'S WHERE THEIR HOPEFUL SON AND THE MULE HOLLOW MATCHMAKERS COME MARCHING IN

A SOIDER'S REUNION BY CHERYL WYATT READING

DESPITE THE A DECADE APART THIS ISN'T THE REUNION MANDY MANCHESTER EXCEPETED SHE THOUGHT SHE'D PUT HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART NOLAN BRIGGS BEHIND HER NOW HE'S BACK AND THE PARARESCUE JUMPER LITTERALLY SWEEPS HER OFF HER FEET HE'S READY AND WILLING TO REKINDLE WHAT THEY ONCE SHARE MANDY THOUGH ISNT PREPARED TO PUT HER HEART AT RISK HE LEFT HER BEFORE SHE WON'T TRUST HIM AGAIN CAN NOLAN TEACH THIS GROUNDED GIRL TO TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH

JOKES

1. WHAT DO YOU CALL A COW THAT HAS JUST GIVEN BIRTH
DECAFINATED

2 WHAT DO YOU CALL A SLEEPING BULL
A BULL DOZER

3 WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A PAMPERED COW
SPOILED MILK

4 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE COW THAT SURIVED THE EARTHQUAKE
SHE BECAME A MILKSHAKE

5 CITY SLICKER WHAT'S THE NAME OF THIS RANCH RANCHER WHY IT'S THE DOUBLE D CROOKED T BAR CIRCLE M CITY SLICKER IT'S KIND OF HARD TO REMEMBER ALL THAT ISN'T IT RANCHER I S'POSE SO CITY SLICKER SO WHERE ARE ALL THE COWS RANCHER CAN'T KEEP ANY ONE LOOK AT THAT BRANDING IRON AND THEY'RE GONE

6 WHAT IS THE COW'S FAVORITE FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT
THE MOOVIES

7 WHY DO COWS WEAR BELLS
BECAUSE THEIR HORNS DON'T WOR

8 A STRANGER FRANTICALLY RAN UP TO A FARM HOUSE DOOR HE POUNDED HIS FIST AND WHEN THE FARMER CAME TO THE DOOR THE MAN DEMANDED WHERE'S THE NEAREST RAILROAD STATION AND WHAT TIME IS THE NEXT TRAIN INTO THE CITY THE FARMER THOUGHT FOR A MINUTE CUT THROUGH MY BACK HAYFIELD AND YOU OUGHT TO REACH THE CROSS ROADS STATION IN TIME FOR THE 5 40 BUT IF MY BULL SPOTS YOU I EXPECT YOU'LL MAKE THE 515

9 WHAT DO YOU CALL A COW WITH A TWITCH
BEEF JERKY

JOKES

1. TWO FARMERS MEET ON A DUSTY COUNTRY ROAD ONE OF THE IS CARRYING A BAG LABELED CHICKEN CHICKEN HUH SAYS ONE FARMER HOW 'BOUT THIS IF I GUESS HOW MANY CHICKENS YOU GOT WILL YOU GIVE ME ONE OF THEM HEY SAYS THE GUY WITH THE BAG IF YOU GUESS RIGHT I'LL GIVE YOU BOTH OF 'EM THE OTHER SCRATCHES HIS HEAD AND GUESSES UM FOUR

2 WHY DID THE ROMAN CHCKEN CROSS THE ROAD
BECAUSE SHE WAS AFRAID SOMEONE WOULD CAESAR

3 WHAT GOES PECK BANG PECK BANG PECK BANG
A BUNCH OF CHICKENS IN A FIELD OF BALLOONS

4 WHAT DO YOU GET IF YOU FEED GUN POWDER TO A CHICKEN
AN EGGSPLOSION

5 WHY DID THE COWS FAIL THE TEST
THEY COPIED OFF EACH UDDER

6 A CITY MAN NAMED SMITH WAS DRIVING THROUGH THE COUNTRY SIDE WHEN HIS CAR SUDDENLY SPUTTERED AND COASTED TO A STOP I HAVE PLENTY OF GAS HE THOUGHT SO IT MUST BE THE ENGINE HE LIFTED THE HOOD UP AND TINKERED WITH THIS AND THAT BUT COULDN'T FIGURE OUT THE SOURCE OF THE PROBLEM THE TROUBLE IS WITH THE CARBURETOR A DEEP VOICE BEHIND HIM SAID BUT WHEN HE TURNED ALL HE COULD SEE WAS A BULL DID UM DID YOU SAY SOMETHING SMITH ASKED YES THE BULL REPLIED I SAID THE TROUBLE IS WITH THE CARBURETOR THEN HE WALKED TOWARD THE CAR AND PEERED UNDER THE HOOD MEANWHILE THE MAN TOOK OFF LIKE A SHOT FOR A FARMHOUSE DOWN THE ROAD WHERE HE TOLD THE FARMER WHAT HAD HAPPENED IS THIS A BIG BULL WITH FLOPPY RIGHT EAR THE FARMER ASK YES THAT'S THE ONE WELL I WOULDN'T PAY MUCH ATTENTION TO HIM IF I WERE YOU THE FARMER SAID THAT BULL HE DOESEN'T KNOW AS MUCH ABOUT AS CARS AS HE THINKS HE DOES

7 HOW DID THE FARMER'S WIFE KEEP TRACK OF THEIR FARM'S STEER POPULATION
SHE USE CATTLE LOGS

8 WHAT DO YOU CALL CATTLE WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR
LAUGHING STOCK

9 WHAT DO YOU CALL A COW THAT EATS GRASS
LAWN MOOER

10 WHAT DO YOU CALL A CALF AFTER IT'S ONE YEAR'S OLD
TWO YEARS OLD

JOKES

1. SEVERAL SCIENTIST DESIGN A GUN SPECIFICALLY TO LAUNCH DEAD CHICKEN AT THE WIND WINDSHIELDS OF AIRPLANES AND MILITARY JETS TRAVELING AT MAXIUM VELOCITY THE IDEA IS TO STIMULATE THE FREQUENT INCINDENTS OF COLLISIONS WITH AIRBORN FOWL TO TEST THE THE STRENGTH OF THE WINDSHIELDS SOME ENGINEERS HEARD ABOUT THE GUN AND WERE EAGER TO TEST IT ON THE WINDSHIELDS OF THE HIGH SPEED TRAIN ARRANGEMENTS WERE MADE AND A GUN WAS SENT TO THE ENGINEERS WHEN THE GUN WAS FIRED THE ENGINEERS STOOD AMAZED AS THE CHICKEN HURTLED OUT OF THE BARREL CARSHED INTO THE SHATTER PROOF SHIELD SMASHED IT INTO PIECES TORE THROUGH THE CONTROL PANEL SNAPPED THE PILOT'S BACK SEAT IN TWO AND EMBEDDED ITSELF IN THE BACK WALL OF THE CABIN THE DISMAYED ENGINEERS SENT THE SCIENTISTS THE CASATROPHIC RESULTS OF THE EXPERIMENT ALONG WITH THE DESIGNS FOR THE WINDSHIELDS AND BEGGED THE SCIENTIST FOR SUGGESTIONS THE ENGINEERS SOON RECEIVED A ONE LINE MEMO IN RESPONSE FIRST THAW THE CHICKEN

2 A CITY MAN TIRED OF THE RAT RACE DECIDED TO GIVE UP THE CITY LIFE MOVE TO THE COUNTRY AND BECOME A CHICKEN FARMER HE PURCHASED A NICE USED CHICKEN FARM HE SOON DISCOVERED THAT HIS NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR WAS ALSO A CHICKEN FARMER THE NEIGBOR CAME TO VISIT ONE DAY AND OFFERED CHICKEN FARMING ISN'T EASY TO HELP YPU GET STARTED I'D LIKE TO GIVE YOU ONE HUNDRED CHCIKENS THE NEW CHICKEN FARMER WAS ELATED THREE WEEKS LATER THE NEW NEIGHBOR STOPPED BY TO SEE HOW THINGS WERE GOING THE NEW FARMER SAID NOT VERY WELL ALL OHE HUNDRED CHICKEN DIED THE NEIGBOR ASTONISHED SAID OH I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I 'VE NEVER HAD ANY TROUBLE WITH MY CHICKENS I'LL GIVE YOU ONE HUNDRED MORE ANOTHER THREE WEEKS WENT BY AND THE NEIGHBOR STOPPED IN AGAIN THE NEW FARMER SAID YOU WON'T BELEIVE IT BUT THE SECOND ONE HUNDRED CHICKENS DIED TOO ASTOUNDED THE NEIGHBOR ASKED WHAT DID YOU DO TO THEM WHAT WENT WRONG WELL SAID THE NEW FARMER I'M NOT SURE QUITE SURE BUT I THINK MAYBE I'M NOT PLANTING THEM FAR ENOUGH APART

JOKES

1 THE FARMER'S SON WAS RETURNING FROM THE COUNTY FAIR WITH THE CRATE OF CHICKENS HIS FATHER HAD GIVEN HIM WHEN SUDDENLY THE BOX FELL AND BROKE OPEN CHCIKENS FLEW EVERYWHERE BUT THE DETERMINED BOY WALKED ALL OVER THE FIELD GATHERING UP THE WAYWARD BIRD AND RETURNING THEM TO THE REPAIRRED CRATE HOPING HE HAD FOUND THEM ALL THE BOY RELUCTANLY RETURNED HOME EXPECTING THE WORST PA I'M SORRY THE CHICKENS GOT LOOSE THE BOY CONFEESSED SADLY BUT I DID MANAGE TO FIND ALL TWLVE OF THEM WELL YOU DID REAL GOOD THERE SON THE FARMER BEAM YOU LEFT HERE WITH EIGHT

2 WHICH SIDE OF THE CHICKEN HAS THE MOST FEATHERS
THE OUTSIDE

3 WHAT KIND OF SHOES DO THE CHICKENS WEAR TO CROSS THE ROAD
REE BOK BOK BOKS

4 THE CUSTOMER WANTED TO BUY A CHCIKEN AND THE BUTCHER HAD ONLY ONE IN STOCK HE WEIGHED IT AND SAID THIS ONE'S A BEAUTY THAT WILL BE 4. 25 OH BUT THAT ISN'T QUITE LARGE ENOUGH SAID THE CUSTOMER THE BUTCHER PUT THE CHICKEN BACK IN THE REFRIGATOR ROLLED IT AROUND ON THE ICE SEVERAL TIMES THEN PLACED IT BACK ON THE SCALE AGAN THIS ONE IS 5 50 HE SAID ADDING HIS THUMB TO THE WEIGHT OH THAT'S GREAT SAID THE CUSTOMER I'LL TAKE BOTH OF THEM


5 WHY DID THE CHCIKEN CROSS THE ROAD
TO PROVE TO THE POSSUM THAT IT COULD BE DONE

6 WHY DID THE CHEWING GUM CROSS THE ROAD
BECAUSE IT WAS STUCK TO THE CHICKEN'S FOOT

JOKES

1. ONE DAY A MAN WAS DRIVING DOWN A COUNTRY ROAD AT ABOUT THIRTY MILES PER HOUR WHEN HE NOTICED THAT THERE WAS A THREE LEGGED CHCIKEN RUNNING ALONG BESIDE HIS CAR HE STEPPED HE STEPPED ON THE ACCELERATOR BUT AT FIFTY MILES PER HOUR THE CHICKEN WAS STILL KEEPING UP WITH THE CAR AFTER ABOUT A MILE THE CHICKEN RAN UP A FARM LANE AND INTO A BARN BEHIND AN OLD FARM HOUSE THE MAN WAS SO AMAZED BY WHAT HW HAD SEEN HE TURNED AROUND AND DROVE UP THE FARM LANE HE KNOCKED AT THE DOOR AND WHEN THE FARMER ANSWERED HE TOLD HIM WHAT HE HAD JUST SEEN THE FARMER SAID THAT HE KNEW ABOUT THAT CHCIKEN AS A MATTER OF FACT THE FARMER SAID THAT HIS SON WAS A GENNNNETICIST HE HAD DEVELOPED THIS BREED OF CHICKEN BECAUSE THE THREE OF THEM EACH LIKE A DRUMSTICK WHEN THEY HAD CHICKEN AND THIS WAY THEY'D PNLY HAVE TO KILL ONE CHCIKEN THE MAN SAID THAT'S THE MOST INCREDIBLE STORY I HAVE EVERY HEARD SO HOW DO THEY TASTE THE FARMER ANSWERED I DON'T KNOW WE CAN'T CATCH THEM

2 WHY DID MOZART SELL HIS CHICKENS
THEY KEPT SAYING BACH BACH BACH

jJOKES

1 TWO HENS WERE PECKING AROUND THE CHICKEN YARD WHEN SUDENNLY A SOFTBALL SAILED OVER THE FENBCE AND LANDED JUST INCHES FROM THEM ONE HEN TURNED TO THE OTHER AND SAID DO YOU SEE THAT LOOK AT THE ONES THEY'RE TURNING OUT NEXT DOOR

2 WHAT HAS FEATHERS AND WRITES \
A BALLPOINT HEN

3 LARRY HAD NJEVER COOKED A DAY IN HIS LIFE BUT THOUGHT HE'D LIKE TO SURPRISE HIS WIFE WITH A SPECIAL DINNER ON HER BIRTHDAY HE WENT OUT TO THE BARN SELECTED A CHICKEN PLUCKED IT AND POPPED IT INTO THE OVEN AN HOUR LATER HE DISCOVERED HE HADN'T TURNED THE OVEN AS HE OPENED THE DOOR THE CHICKEN SAT UP AND SAID LOOK MISTER CAN YOU EITHER TURN ON THE HEAT OR GIVE ME BACL MY FEATHER

4 WHY WAS THE CHICKEN TEAM SO BAD AT BASEBALL
THEY KEPT GETTING FOWL BALLS

JOKES

1. WHICH BIG CAT SHO YOU NEVER PLAY A BOARD GAME WITH

2 WHY AREN'T LEO[PARDS ANY GOOD AT HIDE AND SEEK
BECAUSE THEY'RE ALWAYS SPOTTED

3 WHY WAS THE CHICKEN SENT TO THE PRINCIPLE'S OFFICE
BECAUSE IT KEPT PECKING ON THE OTHER KID

JOKES

1 WHAT DOES THE LION SAY TO HIS FRIENDS BEFORE THEY GO OUT HUNTING FOR FOOD
LET US PREY

2 WHAT IS A LION'S FAVORITE FOOD
BAKED BEINGS

3 WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THE LION ATE THE COMEDIAN

4 HOW DOES A LION GREET OTHERS ANIMALS IN THE FIELD
PLEASE TO EAT YOU

5 WHAT'S THE DIFFERENT BETWEEN A TIGER AND A LION
A TIGER HAS THE MANE PART MISSING

6 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LEOPARD THAT TOOK A BATH THREE TIMES A DAY
AFTER A WEEK HE WAS SPOTLESS

7 ON WHICH DAY DO LIONS EAT PEOPLE
CHEWSDAY

8 WHAT HAPPEND WHEN A LION RUNS INTO AN EXPRESS TRAIN AT THE STATION
IT'S THE END OF THE LION

9 HOW DOES A LEOPARD CHANGE ITS SPOTS
WHEN IT GETS TIRED OF ONE SPOT IT JUST MOVES TO ANOTHER

10 WHAT DO YOU CALL A LION THAT HAS EATEN YOUR MOTHER'S SISTER
AN AUNT EATER

JOKES

1. MR AND MRS PHILLIPS WERE ON A SAFARI IN DARKEST AFRICA THEY WERE WALKING CAUTIOUSLY THROUGH THE JUNGLE WHEN SUDDENLY A HUGE LION LEAPT OUT IN FRONT OF THEM SEIZED MRS PHILLIPS IN ITS JAWS AND STARTED TO DRAG HER AWAY SHOOT SHE SCREAMED TO HER HUSBAND SHOOT I CAN'T HE YELLED BACK I'M ALL OUT OF FILM

JOKES

1 A COUPLE WAS GOING OUT FOR THE EVENING TO CELEBRATE THEIR ANNIVERSARY WHILE THEY WERE GETTING READ6Y THE HUSBAND PUT THE CAT OUTSIDE THE TAXI ARRIVED AND AS THE COUPLE WALKED OUT THE DOOR THE CAT SHOT BACK INTO THE HOUSE NOT WANTING THEIR PET TO HAVE FREE RUNN OF THE HOUSE WHILE THEY'RE WERE OUT THE HUSBAND WENT BACK UPSTAIRS TO GET THE CAT THE WIFE DIDN'T WANT IT KNOWN THAT THERE WOULD BE NO ONE HOME SO SHE SAID TO THE TAXI DRIVER MY HUSBAND WILL BE RIGHT BACK HE'S JUST GOING UPSTAIRS TO SAY GOODBYE TO HIS MOTHER A FEW MINUTES LATER THE HUSBAND CLIMBED INTO THE CAR AND SAID I'M SORRY I TOOK SO LONG THE OLD THING WAS HIDING UNDER THE BED SO I HAD TO POKE HER WITH A COAT HANGER TO GET HER TO COME OUT

2 WHAT DO YOU CALL A LEMMON EATING CAT
SOURPUSS

3 A PERSISTENT SALESMAN WAS GOING DOOR TO DOOR AND HE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR OF A WOMAN WHO WAS NOT HAPPY TO SEE HIM SHE TOLD HIM IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS THAT SHE DID NOT WANT TO THE SALES PITCH AND SLAMMED THE DOOR IN HIS FACE TO HER SURPRISE HOWEVER THE DOOR DID NOT CLOSE IN FACT IT FLEW BACL OPEN SHE TRIED AGAIN PUSHING ON IT AS HARD BUT MET WITH THE SAME RESULT THE DOOR BOUNCED BACK OPEN A SECOND TIME CONVINCED THAT THIS PUSHY SALESMAN WAS STICKING HIS FOOT IN THE DOOR SHE REARED BACK TO GIVE IT A SLAM THAT WOULD TEACH HIM A LESSON WHEN HE SAID MAAM BEFORE YOU DO THAT AGAIN I WOULD SUGGEST YOU MOVE YOUR CAT

4 WHAT DO YOU CALL A CAT THAT HAS BEEN THROWN IN A DRYER
FLUFFY

5 WHY DID THE TIGER EAT THE TIGHTROPE WALKER
HE WANTED A WELL BALANCED MEAL

6 A POLICE OFFICER SAW A WOMAN SITTING IN HER CAR WITH A TIGER IN THE FRONT SEAT NEXT TO HER THE OFFICER SAID IT'S AGAINST THE LAW TO HAVE THAT TIGER IN YOUR CAR TAKE HIM TO THE ZOO THE NEXT DAY THE POLICE OFFICER SAW THE SAME WOMAN IN THE SAME CAR WITH THE SAME TIGER HE SAID I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY TO TAKE THAT TIGER TO THE ZOO THE WOMAN REPLIED I DID HE HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME TODAY WE'RE GOING TO THE BEACH

7 WHY IS IT HARD TO SPOT A LEOPARD IN THE JUNGLE \
BECAUSE THEY ARE BORN SPOTTED

8 A MISSIONARY WAS WALKING THROUGH THE JUNGLE ONE DAY AS HE CAME INTO A CLEARING HE AND A LION CAME TO A FACE AND IN HIS SHOCK HE DROPED THE RIFFLE HE HAD CARRYING HE BEGAN TO RUN AS FAST AS HE COULD AND CAME UPON A TREE THAT HE BEGAN TO CLIMB THAT WAS GOOD NEWS THE BAD NEWS WAS THE LION WAS CHARGING AT HIM GAINING SPEED AND MOMENTUM DEAR LORD THE MISSONARY PRAYED I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP PLEASE MAKE THAT LION A CHRISTIAN SUDDENLY THE LION SKIDDED TO A HALT FELL TO ITS KNEES CLASPED ITS PAWS TOGETHER AND BEGAN TO PRAY DEAR GOD PLEASE BLESS THIS FOOD THAT I AM ABOUT TO RECIEVE

9 A HUNGRY LION WAS ROAMING THROUGH THE JUNGLE LOOKING FOR HIS NEXT MEAL HE CAME ACROSS TWO MEN ONE WAS SITTING UNDER A TREE READING A BOOK THE OTHER WAS TYPING AWAY ON HIS LAPTOP THE LION QUICKLY POUNCED ON THE MAN READING THE BOOK AND DEVOURED HIM EVEN THE KING OF THE JUNGLE KNOWS THAT READERS DIGEST AND WRITERS CRAMP

10 I CAME FACE TO FACE WITH A LION ONCE AND CAN YOU BELIEVE I FOUND MYSELF ALONE AND WITHOUT A GUN WHAT DID YOU DO WHAT CHOICE DID I HAVE FIRST I TRIED LOOKING STRIGHT IN HIS EYES BUT HE SL;OWLY BEGAN TO CREEP TOWARD ME I MOVED BACK BUT HE KEPT COMING I HAD TO DO SOME QUICK THINKING SO HOW DID YOU GET AWAY I JUST LEFT HIM AND PASSED ON TO THE NEXT CAGE

JOKES

1 WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CAT AND A COMMA
ONE HAS THE PAWS BEFORE THE CLAUSE AND TH OTHER HAS THE CLAWS BEFORE THE PAUSE

2 WHY WAS THE CAT AFRAID OF THE TREE
HE DIDN'T LIKE ITS BARK

3 IF TEN CATS ARE OUT ON A BOAT AND ONE JUMP OFF HOW MANY ARE LEFT
NONE THEY'RE ALL COPYCATS

4 WHY WAS CAT SO SMALL
BECAUSE IT ONLY ATE CONDENSED MILK

5 A FAMOUS ART COLLECTOR WAS STROOLING THROUGH THE CITY WHEN HE NOTICED A MANGY CAT DRINKING MILK FROM A SAUCER IN THE DOORWAY OF A STORE HE DID A DOUBLE TAKE AS HE OBSERVED THAT THE SAUCER WAS QUITE RARE AND VERY VALUABLE HE WALKED CASUALLY INTO THE STORE AND OFFERED TO BUY THE CAT TWO DOLLARS THE STORE OWNER I'M SORRY BUT THE CAT IS NOT FOR SALE THE COLLECTOR PERSISTED SAYING PLEASE I NEED A HUNGRY CAT AROUND THE HOUSE TO CATCH MICE I'LL PAY YOU TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS FOR THE CAT THE OWNER SAID SOLD AND HANDED OVER THE CAT THE COLLECTOR CONTINUED FOR THE TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS COULD YOU THROW IN THE SAUCER TOO I'M SURE THE CAT IS USED TO IT AND I WON'T HAVE TO PURCHASED A DISH FOR HER THE OWNER REPLIED SORRY PAL BUT THAT IS MY LUCKY SAUCER SO FAR THIS WEEK I'VE SOLD FIFTY NINE CATS

JOKES

1 WHAT IS THE CAT'S FAVORITE KIND OF COMPUTER
A LAPTOP

2 WHAT DO YOU CALL A N OVERWEIGHT CAT
A FLABBY TABBY

3 WHEN CARL WENT AWAY ON VACATION HIS BROTHER BEN PROMISED TO TAKE CARE OF HIS CAT THE NEXT DAY CARL CALLED BEN TO SEE HOW HIS ANIMAL IS DOING YOUR CAT IS DEAD SAID BEN MATTER OF FACTLY DEAD SAID THE STUNNED CARL WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TELL ME LIKE THAT HOW SHOULD I HAVE TOLD YOU ASKED BEN WELL SAID CARL THE FIRST TIME I CALLED YOU COULD HAVE BROKEN IT TO ME GENTLY YOU COULD HAVE SAID MY CAT WAS ON THE ROOF BUT THE FIRE DEPARTMENT WAS GETTING HER DOWN THE SECOND TIME I CALLED YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME THE CAT FELL OUT OF THE FIREMAN'S ARMS AND BROKE ITS NECK THE THIRD TIME I CALLED YOU COULD HAVE SAID THAT THE VET HAS DID EVERYTHING HE COULD BUT FLUFFY STILL PASSED AWAY THAT WAY IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO HARD ON ME I'M SORRY SAID BEN THAT'S ALL RIGHT BY THE WAY HOW'S MOTHER SHE'S UP ON THE ROOF BUT THE FIRE DEPARTMENT IS GETTING HER DOWN

4 WHAT DO YOU CALL A CAT THAT GETS THROWN IN THE DRYER AND IS NEVER FOUND AGAIN
SOCJKS

5 WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN Y OU PUT A KITTEN IN A XEROX MACHINE A COPYCAT

6 WHAT DO CATS DRINK ON HOT SUMMER AFTERNOONS
MICE TEA

7 WHY DID THE CAT FAMILY MOVE NEXT DOOR TO THE MOUSE FAMILY
SO THEY COULD HAVE THE NEIGHBORS OVER FOR DINNER

8 WHAT DO YOU CALL A CAT THAT SINGS LIKE PAVORITI
A MEWISCAL

JOKES

1. WHY WAS THE CEN TIPEDE DROPPED FROM THE INSECT FOOTBALL TEAM
HE TOOK TO LONG TO PUT HIS BOOTS ON

2 WHAT IS GREEN AND CAN JUMP A MILE A MINUTE
A GRASSHOPPER WITH HICCUPS

3 WHY DIDN'T THE FLY GO NEAR THE COMPUTER
BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID HE WOULD GET CAUGHT IN THE WEB

4 THE FURIOUS CUSTOMER CALL THE WAITRESS OVER TO HIS TABLE AND DEMANDED TO KNOW WHAT WAS IN HIS SOUP SHE LOOKED AND SHYLY SAID I'LL HAVE TO CALL THE BOSS I DON'T KNOW ONE INSECT FROM ANOTHER

5 WHAT DO YOU CALL A NERVOUS INSECT
JITTERBUG

6 TWO CATTERPILLARS WERE CRAWLING ALONG A TWIG WHEN A BUTTERFLY FLEW BY YOU KNOW SAID ONE CATTERPILLAR TO THE OTHER YOU WOULD NEVER CATCH ME UP IN ONE OF THOSE THINGS

7 WHAT GOES SNAP CRACKLE POP
A FIREFLY WITH A SHORT CIRCUIT

8 WHY DID THE MAN THROW OUT HIS BUTTERED TOAST
TO WATCH THE BUTTER FLY

9 A CRICKET WALKED INTO A LONDON SPORTING GOODS STORE HEY SAID THE CLERK SHOCKED TO SEE AN INSECT WITH AN INTEREST IN SPORTS WE HAVE A GAME NAMED AFTER YOU REALLY SAID THE CRICKET YOU HAVE A GAME CALLED CHARLES

10 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CAT THAT SWALLOWED A BALL OF WOOL
IT HAD MITTENS

JOKES

1 RON WENT INTO A DRUGSTORE AND PURCHASED A BOX OF MOTHBALLS THE NEXT DAY HE RETURNED AND BOUGHT A SECOND BOX WHEN HE CAME BACK THE THIRD DAY THE CLERK WAS QUITE CURIOUS AND HE COMMENTED YOU SURE MUST HAVE LOTS OF MOTHS IN YOUR HOUSE YES I DO ADMITTED RON AND I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE I'VE BEEN THROWING THESE BALLS AT THEM FOR TWO DAYS AN I HAVEN'T BENN ABLE TO HIT A SINGLE ONE

2 ARE CATERPILLARS GOOD TO EAT ASKED A LITTLE BOY AT THE DINNER TABLE NO SAID HIS FATHER WHY WOULD YOU ASKED A QUESTION LIKE THAT WELL THEERE WAS ONE IN YOUR SALAD BUT IT'S GONE NOW

3 CUSTOMER WAITER THERE'S A FLY IN MY SOUP WAITER YOU'RE MISTAKEN SIR THAT';S THE BUTTERFLY

4 WHY DID THE FLY FLY
BECAUSE THE SPIDER SPIED HER

5 WHAT IS THE INSECT'S FAVORITE GAME
CRICKET

JOKES

1. TWO ROBBINSW WERE SITTING IN A TREE I'M REALLY HUNGRY SAID THE FIRST ONE ME TOO SAID THE SECOND LET'S FLY DOWN AND FIND SOME LUNCH THEY FLEW TO THE GROUND AND FOUND A NICE PLOT OF PLOWED GROUND FULL OF WORMS THEY ATE AND ATE UNTIL THEY COULDN'T EAT ANY MORE I'M SO FULL I DON'T THINK I COULD FLY BACK UP TO THE TREE SAID THE FIRST ONE ME EITHER LET'S JUST LIE HERE AND BASK IN THE WARM SUN SAID THE SECOND OKAY SAID THE FIRST THEY PLOPPED DOWN BASKING IN THE SUN NO SOONER HAD THEY FALLEN ASLEEP THEN A BIG FAT TOMCAT SNUCK UP AND GOBBLED THEM UP AS HE SAT LICKING HIS PAWS AFTER HIS MEAL HE THOUGH I LOVE BASKIN' ROBINS

2 A LITTLE HATCHING FELL OUT OF ITS NEST AND WENT CRASHING THROUGH THE BRANCHES OF THE ELM TREE TOWARD THE GROUND ARE YOU ALRIGHT CALLED A ROBIN AS THE CHICK WENT HURTLING PAST ITS PERCH SO FAR SAID THE LITTLE BIRD

3 HOW DID THE EXHAUSTED SPARROW LAND SAFELY
BY SPARRPWCHUTE

4 WHAT DO DUCKS LIKE ON TELEVISON
DUCKUMENTARIES

5 WHAT IS THE MOST COMMON ILLNESS IN BIRDS
FLU

6 WHAT BIRDS SPEND ALL THEIR TIME ON THEIR KNEES
BIRDS OF PREY

7 WHERE DO BIRDS INVEST THEIR MONEY
IN THE STORK MARKET

8 DID YOU HEAR THE STORY ABOUT THE PEACOCK THAT CROSS THE ROAD
IT IS A COLOURFUL TAIL

9 WHY DID THE FIREFLY DO WELL ON THE TEST
BECAUSE IT WAS VERY BRIGHT

10 TEACHER IF THEIR ARE A DOZEN FLIES ON THE TABLE AND YOU SWAT ONE HOW MANY ARE LEFT STUDENT UH JUST THE DEAD ONE

jokes

1 WHY WOULDN'T THE DUCK GO TO THE DUCK DOCTOR
BECAUSE HE WAS A QUACK

2 WHY DO BIRDS FLY SOUTH FOR THE WINTER
BECAUSE IT'S TOO FAR TOO WALK

3 HOW MANY PENGUINS DOES IT TAKE TO FLY AN AIRPLANE
NONE PENGUINS CAN'T FLY

4 WHICH BIRD IS ALWAYS OUT OF BREATH
A PUFFIN

5 WHAT DO YOU CALL A PENGUIN IN THE DESERT
LOST

6 WHAT KIND OF BIRD DOES CONSTRUCTION WORK
THE CRANE

7 FRED SOMEONE SAID YOU LOOK LIKE A OWL MEG WHO FRED YOU SOUND LIKE ONE TOO

8 WHAT DO YOU CALL A SEAGULL WHEN IT FLIES OVER THE BAY
A BAGEL

9 THE MANAGER OF A LARGE CITY ZOO WAS COMPOSING A LETTER TO ORDER A PAIR OF ANIMALS HE SAT AT HIS COMPUTER AND TYPED I WOULD LIKE TO ORDER TWO MONOGOOSES TO BE DELIEVERED AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVIENCE HE STARED AT THE SCREEN FOCUSING ON THE ODD LOOKING WORD MONGOOSES THEN HE DELETED THE WORD AND ADDEND ANOTHER SO THAT THE SENTENCE NOW READ I WOULD LIKE TO PLACE A ORDER FOR TWO MONGEESE TO BE DELIEVERED AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE ONCE MORE HE STARED AT THE SCREEN THIS TIME ANALYZING THE NEW WORD WHICH SEEMED JUST AS STRANGE AS THE ORIGINAL ONE FINALLY HE DELETED THE WHOLE SENTENCE AND STARTED ALL OVER EVERYONE KNOWS NO ZOO SHOULD BE WITHOUT A MONGOOSE HE TYPED PLEASED SEND TWO OF THEM

10 WHAT DOES A EDUCATED OWL SAY
WHOM

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