Monday, February 1, 2010

JOKES

1. SEVERAL SCIENTIST DESIGN A GUN SPECIFICALLY TO LAUNCH DEAD CHICKEN AT THE WIND WINDSHIELDS OF AIRPLANES AND MILITARY JETS TRAVELING AT MAXIUM VELOCITY THE IDEA IS TO STIMULATE THE FREQUENT INCINDENTS OF COLLISIONS WITH AIRBORN FOWL TO TEST THE THE STRENGTH OF THE WINDSHIELDS SOME ENGINEERS HEARD ABOUT THE GUN AND WERE EAGER TO TEST IT ON THE WINDSHIELDS OF THE HIGH SPEED TRAIN ARRANGEMENTS WERE MADE AND A GUN WAS SENT TO THE ENGINEERS WHEN THE GUN WAS FIRED THE ENGINEERS STOOD AMAZED AS THE CHICKEN HURTLED OUT OF THE BARREL CARSHED INTO THE SHATTER PROOF SHIELD SMASHED IT INTO PIECES TORE THROUGH THE CONTROL PANEL SNAPPED THE PILOT'S BACK SEAT IN TWO AND EMBEDDED ITSELF IN THE BACK WALL OF THE CABIN THE DISMAYED ENGINEERS SENT THE SCIENTISTS THE CASATROPHIC RESULTS OF THE EXPERIMENT ALONG WITH THE DESIGNS FOR THE WINDSHIELDS AND BEGGED THE SCIENTIST FOR SUGGESTIONS THE ENGINEERS SOON RECEIVED A ONE LINE MEMO IN RESPONSE FIRST THAW THE CHICKEN

2 A CITY MAN TIRED OF THE RAT RACE DECIDED TO GIVE UP THE CITY LIFE MOVE TO THE COUNTRY AND BECOME A CHICKEN FARMER HE PURCHASED A NICE USED CHICKEN FARM HE SOON DISCOVERED THAT HIS NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR WAS ALSO A CHICKEN FARMER THE NEIGBOR CAME TO VISIT ONE DAY AND OFFERED CHICKEN FARMING ISN'T EASY TO HELP YPU GET STARTED I'D LIKE TO GIVE YOU ONE HUNDRED CHCIKENS THE NEW CHICKEN FARMER WAS ELATED THREE WEEKS LATER THE NEW NEIGHBOR STOPPED BY TO SEE HOW THINGS WERE GOING THE NEW FARMER SAID NOT VERY WELL ALL OHE HUNDRED CHICKEN DIED THE NEIGBOR ASTONISHED SAID OH I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I 'VE NEVER HAD ANY TROUBLE WITH MY CHICKENS I'LL GIVE YOU ONE HUNDRED MORE ANOTHER THREE WEEKS WENT BY AND THE NEIGHBOR STOPPED IN AGAIN THE NEW FARMER SAID YOU WON'T BELEIVE IT BUT THE SECOND ONE HUNDRED CHICKENS DIED TOO ASTOUNDED THE NEIGHBOR ASKED WHAT DID YOU DO TO THEM WHAT WENT WRONG WELL SAID THE NEW FARMER I'M NOT SURE QUITE SURE BUT I THINK MAYBE I'M NOT PLANTING THEM FAR ENOUGH APART

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