Saturday, November 21, 2009


1 two easterners were hunting in the rocky mountain wilderness when a huge grizly bear sprang onto their path reared up and roared one hunter was terrified the other kept his presence of mind and calmly instructed don't move a muscle just stand like a statue and the bear will go away hhow do you know i read it in a book in the lewis and clark expedition they both stood motionless the bear didn't go away but instead drew closer and roared moore furiously iii think the bear mut've read the samebook stammered the scared hunter.

2 where do polar bears vote
the north poll

3 what do paddington bear and winne the pooh pack for their holidays
the bear essentails

4 its a sunny morning in the big forest and the bear family is just waking up baby bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table he looks into his small bowl its empty who's been eating my poridige he squeaks daddy bear comes to the table and sits in his big chair iits also empty who's been eating my poridge he roars mommy bear calls from the kitchen how many times do we have to go through this it was mommy bear who got up first it was mommy bear who woke everbody up it was mommy bear who unloaded the dishwater it was mommy bear who went out to get the newspaper it was momy bear who set the table it mommy bear who put the cat out cleaned the litter box and filled the cat;s water and food dish and now that you've finally decided to come downstairs and start your day listen well because i'm only going to say this one time i haven't had time to make poridge yet

Monday, November 16, 2009

more jokes

1. where do polar bears like to vacation
brrrr muda

2 what time is it when five grizzly bears are chasing you
five after one

3 what do you call a grizzly bear with no teeth
a gummy bear

4 how do bears walk around
with bear feet

5 bob i thought you were going bear hunting bill i was but i only made as far as the highway bob what happen well bill i saw a road sign that said bear left so i came home

6 hunter 1 look here some bear tracks hunter 2 great i'll go sw where he came from and you go see where he went

7 what a bear's favorite drink
koka kola

8 two men went out to hunt bear on opening morning a light snow fell and one stay in the cabin while the other one went hunting he soon found a huge grizzly shot at it but merely wounded it the infuriated bear charged toward him he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could he ran fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with everystep just as he reached the open cabin door he tripped and fell too close behind him to stop the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin the man jumped up closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside you skin this one and i'll go get another one

9 what do you call a bear that whines
whiny the pooh

Sunday, November 15, 2009


1. what do you call a sick alligator
an illigator

2 what do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower
i don't know but i'm not going to smell it

3 there once was a lazy alligator that roamed the banks of the river whenever a boat pass him those on board would be sure to keep their hands inside the vessel because it was known that he was always looking for a hand out

4 what do you get if you cross a snowman with an alligator
frost bite

5 once there was a millonaire who had a collection of alligators he kept them in the pool behind his mansion the millonaire also had a very beautiful daughter who was single one day he decided to throw a huge party and during the course of the party he announced ladies and gentlemen i have a propostion for every man here i will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool of alligators and emerged alive as soon as he finished there was a large splash there was one man in the pool swimming with all his might and screaming in fear the crowd cheered him on as he kept sprinting through the water finally he he jumped out on the other side with only a torn shirt and several minor injuries the milllonaire was awestruck he said sir that was amazing i didn't think it could be done but i must keep my end of the bargain do you want my daughter r the millions dollars the guy answer i don't want you money or your daugher i just want the person who pushed me into the water

6 where do ants go on vacation

7 what do you call a 100 year old ant
an antique

8 teacher boys and girls there is a wonderful example in the life of the ant everydaya the ant goes work and works all day long every day the ant is busy and in the end what happens
john some one steps on him

9 what kind of ant is good at math
an accountant

10 a golfing duffer cringed when his drive landed in a anthill chosing a sand wedge he postioned himself and swung at the half burried ball sand and ants flew the ball hadn't moved again the novice braced and swung again the anthill was devasted but the bal lay unmoved among the panic ant stricken colony one ant yelled to his friend come on that big white ball seems to a pretty safle place