jokes

A postal worker has been charged with stealing gold which he was supposed to deliver. He made the mistake of pawning it at the same pawn shop which had melted it down to send to a business in Ann Arbor, Michigan. The jeweler at the pawn shop recognized it.The postal worker has been charged with embezzling.
2 It seems a certain crook had the bad habit of spitting tobacco juice. And he didn't exactly care where he spit. A keen eyed detective noticed tobacco juice stains on some papers that had been ransacked at an insurance office where a burglary had occurred. Since none of the ladies in the office chewed tobacco, he reasoned the spit belonged to the thief and took a DNA sample.Tobacco spit was also found at five other crime scenes in the area. The DNA in all of them matched.The police had a suspect for the robberies and got a warrant to test his DNA. Voila! It matched. They are expecting a conviction.

3 A customer at the drive through window of a fast food restaurant apparently didn't have enough cash on him to pay the bill. He offered to pay for his order with marijuana. The cashier refused and called the police with a description of the vehicle.Soon after, a police officer spotted the vehicle and pulled it over. An inspection of the car turned up marijuana. The driver was arrested.
A 25-year-old man in Utah decided he wanted to get to Washington to see his mother for Christmas. Not having a car, he hopped into a $500,000 fire truck, blew the air horn and tried to drive away. The fire fighters ran out to see what was happening. He put up a big fight, but they were finally able to subdue him. He never made it to Washington for Christmas.

5 The police had no trouble finding this thief. When he used a stolen credit card to buy some cigars, he signed his own name on the receipt. Later he tried to buy some merchandise at a store, but the card came up as stolen. When asked for some identification, he presented his own driver's license.
6 You really have to wonder about this one. Why would a thief break into a courthouse? I guess when you're drunk, your judgment is a little off, to say the least. This guy pried open the sliding door to the courthouse and broke into the safe in the lobby. The only problem was that it's an antique safe and there was nothing in it. It was there only for display. In fact, it wasn't locked because the lock was broken.He was caught when he again tried to pry open to door to get out. He was back inside the same courthouse a few hours later where he was arraigned on a charge of second degree burglary.

7 A man came home to his apartment to find the bedroom and kitchen cabinets had been rummaged. He also found the burglar asleep on the living room floor. When the police came and were able to wake him, he was so drunk that he thought he was in his own apartment.

8 A man in New Hampshire was stopped at a sobriety checkpoint. After handing over his driver's license and registration, he floored the gas pedal and tried to make a get away (almost running down a police officer). The police caught up with him and found marijuana in his car. He was charged with a DUI, drug possession, disobeying a police officer and reckless driving.

9 Police in Arizona responded to a burglar alarm at a gun and police accessories store in Prescott. They found a man inside, fast asleep. He'd apparently entered through a window and claimed that he was driving and got sleepy. He was just looking for a place to take a nap.He was found with a flashlight, gloves and a bag which contained expensive electronics from the store. He also smelled of alcohol.The police had a hard time believing his story, especially since there were several warrants out on him. He was arrested.

10 A group of teenagers in Arkansas tried to pawn a 62+ pound hunk of metal. The shop owner was suspicious and convinced them that it was only lead. He offered them $30 for it. Since they needed money for gas, they took it.The police were called and six young people were arrested for allegedly stealing the metal plus various gold and silver coins. It seems the hunk of metal was actually a silver ingot worth $15,000.