more jokes

1 You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work.

2 C'mon... you can do it... just a little one. That's the way... just a little beep, just a little one. C'mon... good boy... here we go... like this -- beeeeep, just a little one, beeeeeeeeeep, c'mon... There you go!


3 No! NO! Not THAT! Anything but that! Not the beep! No! Please! Not the beep! Anything but the beep! AAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!

4 Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?

5 Hello. This is Mark and Nathan's phone. We're not here right now, but the phone is.

6 Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done... (Cachunk!)

7 Machine voice: Hello. This is HAL 5. You have reached the former telephone number of Carey Smith. I have taken over the functions of this inferior being. He has been saved to disk. If you would like to leave input for his file, do so at the tone.

8 Lindsey's not home now. This is his domestic droid speaking. I'm not programmed to answer the phone, so just leave a message, and Lindsey will get back to you as soon as possible.

9 Voice 1: Answer the phone, please, Hal.Voice 2: I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that.

10 Computer generated voices:1: Hello, there are no real people here to answer the phone right now.2: Yeah, nobody but us machines!1: Right, just us machines, but don't hang up! If you like, you can leave your name and telephone number...2: ...and a message! You forgot about the message!1: Right. Leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message after you hear the beep, and we will keep track of this stuff until the real people get back.2: ...unless of course, sombody pulls out our plug!
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