Thursday, July 16, 2009

more jokes

1. Men wake up looking as good as when they went to bed. Women will somehow deteriorate during the night.

2 A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their best friends, romances, secret hopes and dreams, favorite foods, fears and dental appointments. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

3 Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people to remember the same thing.

4 George was a thoughtful husband. He wanted to give his wife something special for her birthday which was coming up soon. As he sat on the edge of the bed, he watched his wife turning back and forth and looking at herself in the mirror. "Reta," he said, "What would you like for your birthday?" His wife continued to look at herself and said, "I'd like to be six again."George knew just what to do. On the big day, he got up early and made his wife a bowl of Fruit Loops. Then he took her to an amusement park where they rode all the rides. Five hours later, Reta's stomach felt upside down and her head was reeling. Never the less, George took her to McDonald's and bought her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Next, it was a movie with popcorn, soda and her favorite candy. As Reta wobbled into the house that evening and flopped on the bed, George asked her, "Well, Dear, what was it like to be six again?"Reta looked up at him. Her expression changed. She said, "I meant my dress size!"

5 Why Men Are Happier Men can play with toys all their life. Men can wear shorts no matter what their legs look like.Men have one wallet and one pair of shoes which are good for every season.Men can choose whether or not to grow a mustache.Men can "do" their fingernails with a pocket knife.usually Men's bellies usually hide their large hips.Chocolate is just another snack.The whole garage belongs to them.Weddings take care of themselves.Men's last name never changes.Everything on a man's face stays its original color.Men only have to shave their faces and necks.Men can keep the same hairstyle for years, even decades.Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relative on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.For men, wrinkles add character.Men can go on a week's vacation and pack only one suitcase. Men's new shoes don't cause blisters, or cut or mangle their feet.Men don't have to stop and think which way to turn a screw.Men have one mood all the time.A wedding dress cost $5000. A tuxedo rental - 100 bucks Men can open all their own jars.

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