more jokes

1 There will be no nursing home in my future...Nope... I'm going to live on a Cruise Ship year round! The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations, and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:1. Gratuities which I estimate at only $10 per day.2. I will have as many meals a day as I want, as long as I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service. The best part is that they're good meals. None of that cardboard stuff I've seen my old friends eating. Breakfast in bed every day of the week, hmmmm.3. Cruise ships have as many as three or four swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, a casino, movies and shows every night.4. They often have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.5. They even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips should have the entire staff scrambling to help you.6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.7. TV broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience.8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare.If you fall and break a hip on the cruise ship they will likely upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.And, the best for last!10. I get to see Alaska, South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, etc., etc. Don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.