Saturday, May 16, 2009

more blone jokes

1 While wandering through a clothes store in a shopping mall, a blonde suddenly remembers she needs a microwave. Seeing one in the back, she tells the clerk she wants to buy it. The clerk looks up, and glances at the microwave in question and says, "We can't sell that to blondes."Irate at the apparent discrimination she decides she'll fool him, and goes home and dyes her hair to become a brunette. The next day she returns to the same store and again asks a different clerk for the microwave. Again the clerk says, "We can't sell that to a blonde impersonating a brunette."Aghast, she thinks it's unfair discrimination and decides to try one more time, only this time as a red-head. She waits patiently outside the store until another clerk is available and once more asks to buy the microwave. Again she is disappointed to hear, "We can't sell that to a blonde impersonating a red-head."Frustrated she asks, "How did you know I was a blonde?""Because, that's not a microwave, it's a TV."

2 A blonde was suspected of cheating on her 8th grade final exams. The teacher brought her to the front of the room and told to sit and stay quiet while he proceeded to mangle her test.As he did this, the blonde started to laugh.Getting even more furious, he threw the test on the ground and stomped up and down on it leaving foot prints on several ripped pages.The blonde laughed even louder.He was livid, finally taking her test and shredding it.Now, the blonde was laughing uproariously.The teacher, somewhat more calm but still red looked over and asked, "What's so funny?""While you weren't looking, I stood up three times."

3 A blonde took her car to the body shop after a large hailstorm had left her car badly dented. The busy owner didn't have time to work on her car at the moment, so he thought he would try and see if blondes really were as dumb as these jokes indicate."Oh, those dents are pretty small, you can get those dent out yourself by just blowing hard into the tailpipe." he said.After going home and trying for an hour, she called over her best blonde friend Betty to see if Betty had any ideas.After hearing about what she was doing she said "That'll never work, you need to close the windows first.

4 A blonde was shopping when she found a really striking stainless steel thermos. Fascinated, she picked it up examined it, and finally asked the clerk what it was."It's a thermos." he said. "It keeps some things hot, and other things cold."That was all she needed to hear, and she bought the thermos.The next day, her boss saw the thermos on her desk, as it really was rather striking."It's a thermos." she said. "It keeps some things hot, and other things cold.""What have you got in it?" her boss queried after a moment.She happily answered, "I have hot coffee in it for a little later this morning, and really cold iced tea for this afternoon."

5 On a plane flight from Seattle to Chicago, a blonde was sitting in economy class. About half way through the flight, she got up and moved to an empty seat in first class. A flight attendant who observed this, went over to her and politely explained that she had to move back to economy class because that was what her ticket was for. The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Chicago and I'm staying right here."After several attempts to explain to the blonde why she had to return to economy class, the flight attendant gave up. She went to the cockpit and explained the situation to the pilot and co-pilot. The co-pilot said, "Let me try." He went up to the blonde and politely tried to explain to her why she needed to return to her seat in economy class.But the blonde only replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Chicago and I'm staying right here." Frustrated, the co-pilot returned to the cockpit. He suggested that perhaps they should have the airline call the police and have her arrested when they land."Wait a minute," said the pilot. "Did you say she's blonde? I can handle this. My wife is a blonde. I speak Blonde." So he went up to the woman sitting in first class and whispered something in her ear."I'm sorry," said the blonde, and she promptly got up and returned to her seat in economy class."What did you say to her?" ask the astonished flight attendant and co-pilot.To which the pilot replied, "I just told her that first class isn't going to Chicago."

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