Saturday, May 16, 2009

more blonde jokes

1 A couple bought a car and had the dealership add a few upgrades to it. When they returned to pick up their car, they were told that the keys had been locked inside. Going to the service area, they found the mechanic, who was blonde, feverishly working to open the driver's side door. The woman instinctively tried the passenger side door, only to find it was unlocked. She said, "Hey, it's open!"The mechanic replied, "I know. I already got that side."

2 An old farmer was driving home from from his annual trip to the city when he saw a couple of blonde tree farmers planting their crop by hand. As he had some extra time on his hands, he stopped to watch, but couldn't believe his eyes as they dug holes and filled them back in without dropping in any seeds or seedlings.Finally his curiosity got the best of him so he got out of his car and walked over to talk with them."What are you guys doing?" he asked."Planting trees," they said in unison."But where is the seed or seedlings?" he asked."Oh," one said, "normally there are three of us. He digs the holes, Jimmy plants the seedling, and I fill the hole. But Jimmy is out sick today."

3 An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage. If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."The blond opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death.The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped, too.The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.At the funeral the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"The Mexican's wife also wept and said,"I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife."Hey, don't look at me," she said. "He makes his own lunch."

4 A drunken blind man walks into a bar and after conversing with the locals finally yells, "Hey, do you want to hear a really funny blonde joke?"The gentleman beside him says to him in a hushed voice, "You might not want to tell that joke since everyone here IS blonde including that 250 pound wrestler on the other side of you and the 225 pound black belt bouncer who's staring at you nastily. Are you sure you still want to tell that joke?""Nah," says the blind guy, "not if I'm going to have to explain it twice."

5 The blonde mechanic told his customer, "I wasn't able to repair your brakes, so I made the horn louder."

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