Saturday, May 16, 2009

more blonde jokes

1 A blonde government supervisor called in a subordinate regarding his failure to complete his last task.Blonde: Sam, I see you only converted 4 out of the 5 books I asked you to convert to Braille. As you know our state needs to make our publications available to everyone including the blind.Sam: Yes, of course.Blonde: So what happened with that fifth book?Sam: You mean the automobile driving manual?

2 A blink man enters a lady's bar by mistake. Finding his way to the bar, he orders a drink. After a few drinks he yells, "Does anybody want to hear a blonde joke?"The place gets silent. Then a woman with a deep, husky voice sitting to the right of the man says, "Sir, since you are blind, I think it is only fair to let you know that
The bartender is a blonde woman.
The bouncer is a blonde woman.
The woman on your left is blonde and a professional wrestler.
I'm a six foot tall blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
The woman next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. Do you still want to tell that joke?""Nah," says the man. "Not if I'm gonna have to explain it FIVE times."

3 One day a blonde decided to get a cell phone. After talking with the salesman, she finally selected a model and signed up for the service.Over the next few days she called her friends and gave them her new number.A few days later while shopping, her phone rang for the first time.Surprised, she answered it. It was her best friend. Completely dumbfounded, she asked in amazement, "How did you know where to call me?"

4 A blonde was on vacation in Florida trying to find a pair of alligator boots to give her best friend back home. She had heard her best friend talking about them, and knew she really wanted a pair.Finally finding a pair she thought her friend would like, she was upset when she got to the checkout and discovered she did not have enough money to buy them.Being resourceful, she decided she wouldn't give up and had an idea of how she could get some alligator boots for her friend.Three hours later she had to admit defeat, however, as the fourth alligator she found and shot dead had already lost his alligator boots, too.

5 As Lena (a blonde) was getting off work one day in the middle of winter, it was snowing heavily. Visibility was near zero. Lena finally found her car, but wondered how she was ever going to get home. She started the car to warm it up and tried to think of what to do. Then she remembered her husband, Olaf's, advice. He had told her that if she were ever caught in a snow storm, she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she'd never get stuck in a snow drift.So she waited and sure enough, a little while later a snow plow went by. Smiling, she began to follow it. Feeling a little smug, she couldn't wait to tell Olaf how she had followed his advice and got home without getting stuck.After following the snow plow for quite a while, the plow stopped and the driver got out. He walked back to Lena's car and asked if she was all right? He was concerned because she had been following him for a long time."Sure," said Lena and she explained how Olaf had told her that if she ever got caught in a blizzard, she should follow a snow plow.
A little confused, the driver said, "OK you can follow me if you want to. But I'm finished with the Kmart parking lot and I'm headed for Wall-Mart next."

1 comment:

The Reimers Family said...

All, those are funny, I like the one with the blind guy in the bar:)heheheheh!