JOKES

1. A MAN BOUGHT A PARROT AND FOR TWENTY YEARS THE BIRD WAS SILENT NEVER UTTERING SUCH A WORD EVERY MORNING THE PARROT WOULD WAKE UP STAND PATIENTLY ON ITS PERCH AND WAIT FOR ITS OWNER TO COME AND FEED IT ONE MORNING THE MAN OVERSLEPT USING ITS BEAK THE PARROT PRIED THE CAGE DOOR OPEN FLEW OUT AND PERCHED ON THE MAN'S HEAD PECKING ITS OWNER'S NOSE THE PARROT SQUAK AND SAID EXCUSE ME BUT IT'S ALMOST NOON AND I'M FAMISHED THE MAN SAT UPRIGT POLLY YOU CAN TALK OF COURSE I CAN TALK SAID THE PARROT THEN WHY HAVEN'T YOU SAID ANYTHING FOR TWENTY YEARS ASKED THE MAN BECAUSE UP UNTIL NOW REPLIED THE PARROT THE SERVICE HAS BEEN EXCELLENT

2 A LADY GOES INTO A PET STORE ONE DAY I'M QUITE LONELY SHE SAYS TO THE CLERK I NEED A PET TO KEEP ME COMPANY WELL REPLIES THE CLERK HOW ABOUT THIS NICE PARROT HE'LL TALK TO YOU THAT'S JUST WHAT I NEED SAYS THE LADY SHE BUYS THE PARROT AND TAKES HIM HOME THE NEXT DAY THE LADY COMES BACK TO THE PET STORE THAT PARROT ISN'T TALKING TO ME YET SHE SAYS HMM LET'S SEE SAYS THE CLERK I KNOW YOU CAN BUY THIS LITTLE LADDER FOR HIS CAGE HE'LL CLIMB THE LADDER AND THEN HE'LL TAL TO YOU SO SHE HEADS HOME WITH A NEWLY PURCHASED LADDER THE NEXT DAY SHE COMES BACK AGAIN HEY THAT PARROT STILL HASN'T SAID A WORD SHE SAYS TO THE PET STORE CLERK HE THINKS A MINUTE HOW ABOUT THIS LITTLE MIRROR YOU HANG IT AT THE TOP OF THE LADDER THE PARROT WILL CLIMB THE LADDER LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND THEN HE'LL TALK TO YOU OKAY SHE SAYS AND BUYS THE MIRROR BUT THE NEXT DAY THE LADY IS BACK IN THE SHOP I MUST ADMIT I'M GETTING A BIT DISCOURGAGED SHE SAYS THAT PARROT STILL WON'T TALK TO ME THE CLERK SCRATCHES HIS HEAD LET ME THINK HERE TRY THIS BELL YOU HANG OVER THE MIRROR THE PARROT WILL CLIMB THE LADDER LOOK IN THE MIRROR RING THE BELL AND THEN HE WILL SURELY TALK TO YOU ALRIGHT I'LL GIVE IT A TRY SAYS THE LADY AND SHE BUYS THE BELL AND TAKES IT HOME THE NEXT DAY THE SAME LADY COMES BACK TO THE PET SHOP AND SHE IS VERY DISTRESSED WHAT'S WRONG ASKS THE CLERK MY PARROT WELL HE DIED SHE ANSWER SADLY OH NO I'M SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS SAID THE CLERK BUT I MUST ASK YOU DID THE PARROT EVER SAY ANYTHING TO YOU OH YES HE DID SAY ONE THING RIGHT BEFORE HE DIED SHE REPLIES WELL WHAT DID HE SAY ASKS THE CLERK THE LADY REPLIES DOSEN'T THAT STORE CARRY ANY FOOD

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